This Optimistic Fantasy

Its been a crazy past few days, but I guess it'll all be worth something in the end. Saturday ended up being a nice little row, then lots of loading and packing and cleaning, and for once, we weren't sent back to reclean our bunks cause I spent a lot of time sweeping and getting everything clean. The bus ride was somewhat pleasant, lots of movies, had my own seat, and finally got to eat at Wendy's. Gotta love those Frosty Frozen Desserts :)

Arrived in Baltimore around 8/9 pm, come home to find out that.. my lease isn't going to be renewed for the upcoming year. Some frat, likely Pike, is moving into the Briarley and taking over. Lots of headaches, didn't do laundry, didn't do much at all but try and deal and crashed by 11. Sunday was a bit better, oh wait, no it wasn't. Missed a lot of what I shouldn't have, couldn't do laundry all day long because the machines were taken up. Instead looked up some graduate programs. Genetic counseling sounds interesting now too.. but I don't have any sort of counseling experience.

Had dinner at Niwana that night, with Wesley, Bobby, Katie, Teddy and Clare-bob. Love the Korean appetizers, and edamame with not quite enough salt. Then got the Niwana Udon which was a bit too fishy for my taste, certainly not getting it again, but on the whole, wasn't disgusting. Went to the house and watched Copenhagen, which I thought I'd hate because its about the two men that have made my life hell in PChem and consequently, made me let go of the chemistry major. But it was interesting, and I do love soundtracks that consist primarily of oboe solos.

Monday, morning, unloading. Very cold feet, as a result of wet socks from washing boats. But came home, and was very productive until class. Managed to do 2 loads of laundry (crew stuff and essentials), cleaned out the dishes, made more rice water/soup/porridge to help push down the ulcers in my mouth, and even took an hour and a half nap. French, wandered around, got yelled at by the registrar women for not receiving my transcript but still wanting to request one, got lots of veggies, pita bread, cheddar slices, and cilantro hummus at Eddies and had a nice meal. THen off to the library, met up with Clare, headed to personality theory.. I truly do love that class the most, why am I not a psychologist?

Then our usual post-class get-together/talk in the hallway sans Wesley, decided to go do the Vaccaro's Monday Night thing, at request of Greg because Brit's gone for the week. Came home, did some more dishes, at some more of what I had for lunch, slaughtered a chicken to make the soup my mother wants me to with the Chinese ingredients she sent to me so long ago.. that's on the stove. Really wish I had time to go to the gym...

So looking to maybe move in with Nana for next year. My option was initially to move into campus housing, but I get kicked out of here end of June, I'd then have to sublet somewhere for 2 months, then move into campus housing in September, and find storage for all my crap.. which is way more work than is worth. 1 bedrooms that are reasonable are scarce and I definitely need the full kitchen, so perhaps this arrangement with Nana will work out. Looking at a small complex called the Alps at Tuscany, a few blocks north of One World, by the Calvert School. Its really cute, from the pictures.

Well, off to stuff my face with fantastic Italian desserts.. I'll make sure I get at least a strawberry granita :)


P.S. Hey Ariel! I'm glad you're reading my posts now. The editor I use has a T and a color palette button at the top when you're editing, so I use that to change the colors :)

---break---

Oh man, a hot chocolate, cream puff, diet coke, vanilla gelato with strawberries in a waffle bowl, and a strawberry smoothie later.. I'm stuffed, and majorly sick. My head hurts, I want to throw up, but man it was so good! Basically $24 worth of sugar and pain, for only $16. Not bad, Greg had like $30 worth.

And now, comes the lab report, which I don't even understand. Oops?

All We're Left With Is Memories

Friday night. Departure from Camp Bob. 15 hours away. Totally tired. This year's been different. Lots of trading. Lots of videotaping. Lots of feedback. Pretty awesome. Feel like I've really strengthened some of my relationships with people. Others, unfortunately, were a little ignored. I just don't have the energy to sit up and stay up with people past 10/11 at night. I love the later practices, and practicing so many times a day. It's so much easier to fix things and do what needs to be done.

The weather wasn't fantastic this year. But the mood was tremendously more optimistic and amicable. The food has been horrible as usual. And the n-men's "initiation" had turned only into a sideshow to the now-annual novice women's non-initiation crew orientation talent show. Took out a coxswain quad earlier in the week. And today, we took out a coxswain coxed four, with (from bow to stern) Emcox, Helena, Raskob, and I, and Gregor coxing. Quite entertaining, but somewhat painful at times. I don't know why my knee's been acting up so. Tomorrow, 7am wakeup, last practice here in S.C., then the long drive back home. No Sonic nighttime ice-cream social bonding. No Aiken regatta to whomp ass at. But an entire week back in Baltimore to prepare for next weekend for a double regatta weekend. Casperson Cup back home in Baltimore for once, and then Occoquan Sprints immediately following, which has always been unsuccessful in years past.

I've done none of my work this break. Should do some outlining for Inorganic, Iodine lab writeup for Pchem Lab, some reading for Ptheory, and a practice Kaplan full-length on Sunday. Saturday night will be tough. But at some point.. I'll manage.. as I usually do.

Good night. 'Til we meet again, back home in MD, back where the food is halfway decent and cooked mostly under my hands.

Febreze, Thank You So Much!

Monday night, second day full day at Camp Bob. It rained a bit today, was mostly overcast, but yet, my face still feels like its been sunburnt alot. Yesterday, on Sunday it was pretty nice, not hot but fairly warm, but maybe just a little bit from then has stayed in me. Today however everyone got wet, and our entire room smells like.. nasty :) Thanks to Febreze, our space heater, and the fan, we can circulate and mask the smell quite a bit.

On another note, the food is way worse than in years past. They're even regulating how much pasta you can take, which is absolutely ridiculous. For brunch today, the only thing I really managed to eat was the cream of broccoli soup, with the little fried potato cubes dropped in to give it some more thickness. Pretty good idea eh?

Anyway, off for now.

Smelling Clean Air For A Change

Finally at Camp Bob Cooper. Last night was hectic, amidst all my errands, a run to Giant, dinner at Rocky Run, and a trip to Remsen to let someone in, I managed to not have the time to clean, do laundry, or make snacks for the trip. And those lab calculations for PChem, well, they only got half done because I ran into some difficulty. On the whole, it was alright, I got a little bit of sleep, and although I woke up with a swollen eye, my mouth still hurting, and a few new cuts and scrapes here and there, I was ok. Then as I slowly drag all my bags over to the AC, I go to Remsen to turn in my calculations, and I leave my keys.. in the mailbox room. Which is locked on several levels. I panic, and I finally have the great idea to see if I left the door ajar inside Remsen 101, and thankfully, it was.

A nice bus ride down, sat with Laura in the friddle. ( For you non-wombination folk, thats the front-middle) And relatively enjoyable, slept a bit, watched Mulan, then had lunch at Bojangles (I somehow managed to not get chicken, but sides of cole slaw, mashed potatoes, and dirty rice, along with half a dozen of biscuits) then a small trip to BK for chicken tenders and a vanilla shake. Then we watched Wallace and Grommit, Curse of the Were-Rabbit! It was a really good movie, as most W&G things are, so it was enjoyable. Then we watched some 80's movie.. Better Off Dead, and then we were at Camp Bob! Rigged up all the boats already, quite a feat I'd say, am rooming with Teddy, Bobby and Pete in the bunks, and had a horrible dinner.

But on the whole, I'm so glad I'm here, I hope it helps me de-stress, because I think that's the main cause of what's making my health go to the shits. And ideally, I'll get the chance to do so damage this spring break. Sounds fun, a little ominous, but exciting.

A Small Can of Goodness

So my joke didn't work so well, mainly because the punchline wasn't actually carried out...

But that was at the sacrifice of completing my homework and studying more for inorganic, which I failed anyway. Why can't I seem to undersetand the material despite running it through my system so much.. being completely unable to process it all. But it's finally over, and I officially know what I need to do now to study effectively. I better study some more crystal and ligand field theory in the event that it ever comes up again.

I've had so much caffeine today. Made lots of tea during the night, got a steamer and blueberry cake-bread from cafe Q (ok, so its not relaly caffeine), a 20 oz. diet, a Starbucks espresso double shot in a can. It's definitely a shot. A shot of happiness and nerve-calmin... nevermind, my hands are now quivering so that's hardly calming.

My french oral was much easier than I thought it'd be, but I can't seem to remember my vocabulary very well. It's difficult to just bust out so many things at once, and I find myself stuck and at a loss of what to say.

Ksenija will let me turn in my calculations a bit later, but that means I have to have them turned in by tomorrow morning when I leave for South Carolina. I love late night runs to Remsen, cause it's not technically breaking in if you have the key to the building...

Still have to do laundry, pack, clean, do the dishes, make more chex mix, assemble crap. Oh.. will it all get done? I surely hope so, while all I want to do is crash. And now that Teddy's ditched me also, I have to go to Keswick on my first day all by my lonesome, and learn how to push old farts around by myself? and then play bingo? Hoooorrayyyy.

My pessimism is surely a result of my lack of rest. Hopefully this will help me zonk out while on the bus tomorrow.

The Taste of Chemicals

In my mouth. Stiff upper lip. Mouth ulcers not getting better. Hard to eat what I want. Pretty docking today, despite the wetness and induced numbness from bowloader, off to starboard. Salty and bitter is the taste. Salty from the salt water, bitter from ????

So on the plate for the day: shower, inorganic class, something to eat, then maybe a small nap, then some major inorganic studying/homework. Hopefully I'll be diligent until the evening when maybe a Costco trip will be in order to get those fantastic Gummy Bears (the 5lb-er!) and other accessory snacks. Then back to studying, and maybe some sleep for the night.

And by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIEL! Although it's probably too late for you to see this anwyay, I guess the gesture's still there.

---break---

Suffering through Inorganic is almost impossible. I sit there and try to stay awake and listen.. but when an hour and a half are spent on 2 slides.. I don't get quite enough visual stimulation to stay awake, especially that soon after a crew practice. And why is it that I never seem to get enough sleep on Wednesday nights anymore? It must be Top Chef...

Ok, time for a nap.. just hunger strike for a little longer and it'll be lunchtime...

---break---

Chicken tastes so much better when reheated and drenched in its own fat that melts right over it. Yum :) Anyway, I think my cheese danish is also at the end of its lifetime. And the black from burning my pot lid that I thought was ruined.. is definitely ruined.

I never seem to wake up from naps when I plan to. Setting an alarm for 1 o'clock basically means I won't wake up til 2. I'll finish eating at 2:40, finish showering and tooting around by 3ish, complain about how I"m still tired online for a bit, repack my computer and head to the library.

I think my methods of studying are slightly counterproductive. I have just over 12 hours left til my exam, and 5 long chapters in inorganic to complete, and I'm slowly trudging and outlining my first chapter, somewhat unproductively...

Is it really so serious?

---break---

So another few hours wasted. Only 8 hours now til the exam... Watched the grassroots of hiphop on VH1, have listened to my new mix about 40 times through, got through 2 and a part of the big chapter in Inorganic. I still have the chapter 5 and 6 homeworks to complete, to finish remembering the info from chapter 7...

My stomach's been acting especially bad. And my mouth has gotten worse since I took the medicine for my stomach yesterday. The disharmony in my immune system is really screwing with me lately, as my ulcers haven't gone away in a month and a half now, that's the longest I've had them around since.... since probably during high school.

I really want to bake. But my apartment looks like a pack of angy dogs have run through it. Unfortunately, when that happens, I can't seem to do anything until I clean it. And at this point, its not much of an option. I just made myself some strong tea, and shall try to endure the rest of the night.

To Dine Or Not To Dine

So Kaplan has been this looming, dark force that sits above me and is attempting to push me down into submissiveness. Therefore, I will not be attending my damn verbal class tonight. I will however, eat my oranges.

On the note of oranges, I had one from my frigo this morning. Let's just say, they've been in there since I've come back to Maryland.. back at the beginning of January. I'd have expected them to be moldy or disgusting, but they were perfectly tart, slightly sweet, and definitely very fresh, if you can call that fresh despite the mental barriers I'm giving myself.

On another note, the blood oranges I bought a few weeks ago.. I either need to juice them and mix them with a stiff amount of vodka, or just eat them and enjoy their redness. Although I could probably use it to marinate something nice and tasty also..

After French, I randomly met up with Sunny, who was going to be having lunch with Holly, whom we met at Niwana, along with Ernesto. Today was definitely the day of re-encountering people I hadn't spoken to in a while. Lunch at Niwana was quite good, I technically ordered the vegetable tempura udon, but our slightly hot, slightly gangsta (I'll explain later) waiter got me the vegetable tempura box instead. First time I'd ever had panko-covered, tempura-fried lettuce, or some other type of leafy, curly green that I couldn't discern.

And afterwards, he said the picture on my debit card was quite "gangsta". We each had a nice laugh, in addition to the comment Holly got about a tasty beverage..

Then in personality theory, our professor attempted to hypnotize us. It worked for a little bit, especially in the motor sensations, but I just couldn't feel that mosquito or that sweet cadbury cream taste in my mouth. Then Greg had to go ahead and start chuckling when she spoke of stiffness and getting harder...

---break---

And.. I almost burnt down my apartment. Nana gave me a call for a quickie to the Columbia mall. Little did I remember, I had just a few minutes beforehand put something into a pot to steam. Well, let's just say after wandering around the Columbia mall, some talking with Carly, a stroll through Old Navy, and getting some chicken from Chicken-Out (which, for the record, has fantastic red-skinned mashed potatoes with the perfect salt content...), I returned home to a burning sensation smell that permeated every last corner of my apartment. I immediately checked the stove, and what do I see. Holy crap, my large sauté pan is burnt black, what's in it is ruined, and the teflon nonstick was basically.. well.. no longer sticking. Crap, that was a nice pan too, we had a nice history :)

And so what was also ruined was the lid, which was interchangeable with my 4qt pot, the steamer rack I had inside, and the cute square C&B plate I bought over the summer with Ariel. Sigh. And also, all my clothes I had on at the moment smelled like smoke, I think actually most of the clothing in my apartment smells like smoke now since I have most of the things I care about hung up in my walk-in which usually collects most of the smells of my apartment because it's a dead room as far as circulation.. And then I forgot about salsa, with Laura, and I smelled like smoke, burnt, crap there too.. so my self-esteem was ruined as well. AND we had to alternate partners, I couldn't even feel confident that my partner wasn't judging my mistakes...

Top Chef, I'm glad the foofy, organic, veggie lady's gone now. Although Stephen pisses me off, his minimalist presentation in the quickfire presentation was very reminscent of the appetizer dish I once posted on my xanga with the asian soup spoons with a bite of appetizer in each. Very clean, using espresso cups to present.. althought I hate him as a person, Mr. Sommélier can stick it...

I don't understand how people can endlessly eat, and not realize that they're doing so. Like seeing someone pick up a bag of chips or whatever snack, and just down it like it was nothing. Snacks are not meant to constitute meals, the reason why they're called snacks is that they are meant to be eaten in smaller quantities than meals.... no further comment...

A Reincarnation

So to begin, I will say that I had a few bites of an Entenmann's cheese-filled crumb cake to start off my day along with what was left of my milk.

The last of my milk, was to be the completion and culmination of 2 days' worth of milk drinking, although the majority of it was consumed last night, when I managed to put too much of Emeril's cajun seasoning into my chicken, onions, and mushroom sauté, with tri-color cous cous, cooked in chicken boullion. Yeah, it wasn't as good as it sounds because, although I cooked with double D's (my chicken breast was 3 times as large as one normally is), there was a disproportionate amount of mushrooms and onions to chicken, because I didn't feel like saving only a third of the mushrooms I had, knowing I didn't have too much else to cook it with. The cous cous however, came out fantastically.

1/4 cup of cous cous is certainly not 1 serving size. It's like, a third of a typical serving size, and that's a conservative estimates.

And so enough about last night's dinner. Well.. not really, because that's what I had for lunch.

And between French class and doing my lab calculations and prelabs, and going to lab, I managed to head over to the house and chill with Wesley, and watched Michael Chiarello rant about "cheese food". I must say though, I do really like cheese food when it comes as Kraft singles. It's one of those disgusting things that remind me of my childhood.. like Wonderbread.

Like the Wonderbra, disgusting yet so incredibly tasty.

And so Food Network, and I brought Chex Mix, home-made, with lots of good ingredients. Corn and Rice Chex obviously, sourdough pretzel bites, peanuts, and roasted almonds I got from Trader Joe's, and those awesome garlic bagel chips.

So after the HAC lab, after French, after the leftovers, after the Lab, after the erging, after being told by my TA to completely redo my pchem lab calculations even though I'd rather get a 2/10 because I don't care, after showering and watching Sesame Street with Wesley, there was Kaplan. Which was surprisingly not as horrible as I thought it'd be. Hopefully I can still do well.

Then BOSTON LEGAL! I forget how much I like the show when I'm not watching it..

Time to find dinner. Perhaps a PB&J is in order, or maybe some white rice.. oh wait, its almost midnight, maybe I'll just go to sleep since I had so many of those dried cranberries... and strawberry milk!